Are you changing, are you changing, are you changing.
Do you know it, do you feel it, do you know it.
But you're waiting, why're you waiting, why're you waiting.
Just do it, whatever it is.
there are secrets, there are secrets, there are secrets.
there are places, there are places, you can go to
they might tell you, yeah they'll tell you, that you shouldn't

just do it, whatever it is, whatever it is,
just do it, whatever it is, whatever it is,
go do it, whatever it is, whatever it is,
just do it, whatever it is.

and you're dancing, and you're looking kinda crazy
and your arms, are making little circles
there are reasons, there are reasons, you can find out

so do it, whatever it is, whatever it is,
just do it, whatever it is, whatever it is,
go do it, whatever it is, whatever it is,
whatever it is, whatever it is.

it's so quiet, it's so quiet, it's so quiet
and you're dreaming, and you're dreaming, and you're dreaming
I turn to you and say - awake is the new sleep, awake is the new sleep
so wake up. And do it, whatever it is. Just do it, whatever it is.
'cause awake is the new sleep, awake is the new sleep
so wake up
wake up.
and do it. Whatever it is, whatever it is,
just do it, whatever it is, whatever it is,
go do it, whatever it is, whatever it is
just do it, whatever it is, whatever it is.

Family Guy
Stewie: "Oh squiggly line in my eye fluid. I see you lurking there on the peripherie of my vision. But when I try to look at you, you scurry away. Are you shy, squiggly line? Why only when I ignore you, do you return to the center of my eye? Oh, squiggly line, it's alright, you are forgiven."

So it's official.  The house is sold and the Bradford house is bought.  My parents will be moving to their new house in June, and I'll be needing to find my own place to live!  It's painful emotionally as I attempt to detach from all the memories of this house.  I've lived here for 24 years.  I'm pretty darn attached!

But such is life.  Onward and upward.  Not only can I handle this, it's just the push i need.

Dear friends,

It is with great sadness that I officially announce the end of Gutsy Dame.com

First of all, I want to say thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to all of you. I could not have started this venture without the support of such loving, and genuinely fantastic people in my life. Thank you for your belief in my business idea, and in me. I needed it so many times.

Even though in the end, the business did not succeed, I had so many victories along the way that I wouldn't trade the adventure of entrepreneurship for anything. I have met so many amazing people in the past two years and overcome so many self-imposed obstacles I set, that I could not be more satisfied.

For those still wishing to get a piece of Gutsy Dame, all is not lost. I have set up arrangements with the wonderful ladies of Maximum Woman, and they will be hosting my Inventory Clearout! Starting this weekend, stop in to shop at their Woodbridge location to enjoy clearance prices on ALL of my inventory.

Address: 27 Roytec Road, Woodbridge, Ontario

Again, I sincerely thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for your support.

Stay Gutsy!!

Sincerely,
Stephanie Agosta

Two strange coincidences occurred today.  The first one being nowhere near as significant as the second one, but cool nonetheless.

1.  I was listening to my playlist randomly, and first song that came on was That Thing - Lauryn Hill.  The next song, Killing Me Softly - Roberta Flack.  Neat!

2. I was talking to Rose about her business, and we started talking about what I'm going to do with the rest of my inventory now that I've decided to close up shop at Gutsy Dame.  I got an email on facebook right after from the owner of Maximum Woman, in response to an email I sent her back in November about working out a consignment deal.  I'm so game.  I've been having a difficult time finding the motivation to clear out the rest of my stock, and this is the perfect avenue.  YaYYYY.

Tonight is the first meeting of the Evolution Group--a class I enrolled in in an effort to make some changes in my life.  I'm really looking forward to it.

I was talking to a friend online who has never heard of Jill Scott, and I was in shock!  She is, in my opinion, the queen of neo-soul and one of the most poetic and beautiful women on earth.  I sent him an email of links to video's of some of my favourite songs, and I thought I'd post it here as well.

You got me - The Roots feat Jill Scott
The following three songs appear on her latest album, The Real Thing and in the following order, they tell a fantastic story.
Come See Me
Crown Royal  (this is the sexiest song I've ever listened to)
Epiphany

Enjoy!

my sister is moving out tomorrow.  i'm lonely already. :(

If you're on my friends list, I want to know 36 things about you. I don't care if we never talk, or if we already know everything about each other. Short and sweet is fine ... you're on my list, so i want to know you better!

Comment here and repost a blank one on your own journal.

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
30) Do you swear a lot?
31) Biggest pet peeve?
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
34) Favourite and least favourite food?
35) Do you believe in God?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

Hey peeps!

This is just a reminder that Gutsy Dame will be at the Fuller Woman Expo at the Living Arts Centre in Missisauga this Saturday and Sunday.  Come experience the first ever plus size women's tradeshow featuring local plus size retailers and designers, fashion shows, keynote speakers, and live performances including the BellyUp Bellydancers.

Not only is ALL of Gutsy Dame's inventory on SALE, experience seriously massive clearance prices not available online.

Say "Happy Birthday" to me and get an extra 5% off your purchase at Gutsy Dame!

Hope to see you there.

Stay Gutsy,

Stephanie Agosta
Owner
Gutsy Dame.com

Hey Ladies!

Hope you are all having a great summer!

I just wanted to let you know that Gutsy Dame is currently having a Crazy Summer Clearance Sale!

EVERYTHING in the store is on SALE, and many items are 50% off!!

SUMMER TOPS: $18 to $40
SUMMER DRESSES: $25 to $55
SUMMER BOTTOMS: $15 to $30

On top of these great sale prices, continue to pay NO TAX and $7 flat rate shipping anywhere in North America.

Also, in September, Gutsy will be doing two tradeshows, where you can shop these clearance prices in person.

--------------------------------

The Fuller Woman Expo - Canada's first plus size women's tradeshow

Dates: September 13 & 14, 2008

Location: The Living Arts Centre
4141 Living Arts Drive
Mississauga ON

Admission: Prepaid - $13.00
At the door - $15.00
-------------------------------

From the website:
"The Fat Experience Project® is an oral, visual and written history project which seeks to be a humanizing force in body image activism.

By collecting and sharing the many and varied stories of individuals of size, the Fat Experience Project® seeks to engage with, educate, empower and enrich the lives of people of size, our allies and the world at large.

The goal of the Fat Experience Project® is to map the experience of fat in a way that is human, has a face, a heart, a mind, a body and a voice. The goal is to listen and repeat - the good and the bad, the hard and the joyful and everything in between - in a way that may ultimately bring compassion to folks who don’t understand. More importantly, however, we hope The Fat Experience Project® will allow the folks who are hearing/reading their own words echoed back to them across the pages, fall in love with themselves and each other just a little more.

We believe that, at the root of discrimination and judgment, there is often an unfortunate lack of basic understanding.

We believe that conversation — hearing the truth of others, and speaking our own truths — can be a healing force.

We believe that shared experience is key to compassion, and that internalized shame often loses its power when spoken aloud.

We believe that sizeism, racism, classism, ableism, sexism, transphobia and homophobia are related issues whose intersections may best be understood through the exploration of personal impacts.

We believe that the personal is political.

We believe that your lives are precious, your words are precious and your courage is precious.

We hope that you will share all of the above with us."

Everything you've ever wanted to know about the big, beautiful, inspiring, and smart, Velvet D'Amour!

So it is slightly delayed, but here is the performance post!  I forgot to ask my friends to take pictures up close, but I did manage to get a few shots from afar, and a closer one from one of the other performer's friends.  I got to Lorraine's house at 7:30 and from then until 11:00 pm, we spent getting ready and running through a rehearsal.  I helped Cate, Emily and Harmony with their makeup, and did my own.  I always find the getting ready for special events to be more fun than the event itself, but, even though getting ready was glamorous and fun, that wasn't the case this time.  After I rehearsed, Andrea said to me "wow, you have hips that could shake the earth to its very core" and I beamed.  What a beautiful compliment.  I was stoked after that. 

We took a cab to Concord Cafe, and as soon as I stepped out onto the road, and saw the bar, my heart lept into my throat and I started freaking out.  Lorraine reminded me that she knew I would do great, and the worst that could happen was they audience would cheer.  If you messed up, or didn't, they would cheer nonetheless.  I met my friends outside the bar, and as soon as we got in I hightailed it to the bar for a jitters-reducing drink.  All the performers were ushered outside in the back to wait and get ready.  Lorraine took care of talking to the DJ, and getting us a stage hand, and worked out the other details while the rest of us talked about how nervous we all were and drank.  It was decided that I would be performing second, after Coco LaCreme's 80's workout inspired dance.  She had so much energy, and vivacity she was the perfect appetizer to set the mood for the audience. 

As soon as I stepped onto the stage, I felt nervous, but as I kept on dancing, those nerves were replaced with joy and I fed off the energy of the crowd.  I have performed in front of audiences before in plays, or doing public speaking, but never before have I done it without speaking.  Normally I find it difficult to get past the nervousness because you can hear it in your own shaky voice, and that feedback works to remind you that you're nervous.  But with dance,  you just move, and let the music literally take you.  As soon as I stepped off the stage, I wanted to jump back on and do it again.  I don't really remember much of the performance,  if I did everything I planned to do or if I screwed up.  I do remember at the end, while I was twirling my tassles, literally thinking this is GLORIOUS!  What an incredible rush to be the centre of attention in a room full of such accepting, positive people.  It was an honour and a privelege to perform for them that night.  I was so high afterward, and that lasted the entire night.  Even when I got home, I couldn't sleep.  I've never felt a natural high that long lasting before.  I know I said that it would be my debut and retirement, but I just may have another performance in me yet!

Cheers to doing the things that scare the hell out of you!

It is my opinion that everyone should have a list of things to do before they die.  Whether it be a mental checklist, a scribble in a journal, or a poster mounted on your wall, it is important to have fantastic goals.  Be they mundane or extra-ordinary, fantastical or those you deem impossible, so long as it is something you want to accomplish in this life time, you should add them to your list.

I only started mine as a mental list several years ago.  It was very short (only including three things)--to be honest, there are still only 3 things on that list, but I do plan to continue adding!

Those things are:
1. Be a burlesque dancer.
2. Drive a truck or a bus.
3. Travel to Hawaii.

I considered mine a fantasy list.  Things that would be cool to do, but I probably never would.  Until now that is...

I joined a 6 week Neo-Burlesque workshop through the Toronto Women's Bookstore that ended a few weeks ago.  Coincidentally, the bookstore was planning to throw a fundraising event and asked Coco LaCreme (our instructor) if some of us would like to perform.  After several years of running this workshop, it was the first time students would have an opportunity to perform.  Immediately, I agreed to do the show, saying that I am scared crapless, but I have to do it.  I don't have a choice.  This could be my only opportunity to actually realize a goal on my list!  I worked on my costume, came up with a name, chose a song, but failed to start choreography.  Some call it procrastinating, but what I was actually doing was sabotaging myself, giving myself a reason to get out of doing the show.  On Sunday I realized I don't want to continue being the person who talks about their dreams but never does anything about it.  I would have to suck it up, swallow my fear, and just do it!  So I did.  And tomorrow at midnight, along with other ladies from the class, I will be performing my very own burlesque routine in front of a crowd at the Concord Cafe!!  I'm extremely nervous, but proud of myself nonetheless.  Here's hoping I shake on purpose instead of from nerves!

Hey Ladies,

Come on out to the Clothing Show this weekend (May 2,3, & 4th) to be the first to see and shop the Spring/Summer 2008 Gutsy Dame collection.  Not yet available for purchase online, you can get a sneak peak below and by checking out the latest pics added to the Gutsy Dame facebook group.



Empire waists, Grecian-inspired draping, open back detailing, and bold colours are all featured in our comfortable and easy to wear spring/summer clothing available in sizes 14 to 22.  Featuring the designs of TOGS (Canada), MaiTai, Peony, Fashion Love, Cotton Candy and 1st Choice.

Members of the Gutsy Dame Livejournal group receive 2 Free Buttons and 10% off your purchase of $50 on regular priced items upon mention of this post!

Please note, we can only accept cash at the show.

Location:  Booth 213, Better Living Centre, Exhibition Place
Hours:      Friday 3-9 (Opening night party with Fashion shows, and live music)
                 Saturday 11am-9pm
                 Sunday 11am-7pm
Tickets:     $8 Online
                 $10 @ Door

For more information, check out www.theclothingshow.com and enter to win a $1000 shopping spree.

Hope to see you there!

Stay Gutsy,

Stephanie Agosta
Owner
Gutsy Dame
www.gutsydame.com
(905) 237-3131

I have to admit that I sometimes do enjoy the fluff that is fashion and beauty magazines.  Included in the basket of reading materials in the bathroom my sister and I share, you will find copies of my mom's O magazines, Psychology Today, Scientific American Mind, and fashion mags that we usually get from the library. I really do enjoy the art of makeup, and understanding what our culture defines as current and stylish.  For the most part, I barely notice that there are rarely ever any plus-size women, or women of races other than caucasian included because I'm just so used to it.   But it really grates my nerves when women are told, in the casual conversation they speak to us in, that having fat or being fat is unacceptable.  An example, from the Jan 2008 issue of Allure magazine:

Big Softy
"Soft" and "plump" aren't words we'd want to describe any part other than our lashes.  We asked a cosmetic chemist and makeup artist if Neutrogena's new Healthy Volume Mascara lives up to its promise to make lashes both....

It goes on to describe the mascara, calling the barrel plus-size, and just below titles a blurb on perfumes "Full-bodied".

So ladies, it's okay for your lashes to be fat, and your perfume full-bodied, but not you!  I don't know about you, but I'd much prefer to cuddle a big, soft, plump person than an eyelash!

Which brings me to this book I saw advertised in BUST magazine called Everything Is Wrong with You: The Modern Woman's Guide to Finding Self Confidence Through Self Loathing.

From Amazon.com:

"While other self-help books might tell you that something is wrong with you, this book is here to tell you that everything is wrong with you. In your quest for perfection, are there things you've forgotten to worry about? Like:

• Are your toes weird? I'm not saying they are, but are they?
• What if you think you are thin, but you actually have a vision disorder that just makes you see yourself as thin when, in fact, you are totally not thin? Think about it!
• What if whenever you go out of town your boyfriend has crazy orgies at your house? And what if all your best friends come to those orgies? Of course I can't prove it, but can you disprove it?

Remember, if you were OK, there wouldn't be so many books and magazines out there devoted to helping you get prettier and be more stylish. I mean, if you think that publishers are just in it for the money, then you definitely have trust issues! How can you solve them? Please purchase this book to find out. And maybe buy an extra copy in case you lose this one. And a third one in case you get mugged on your way home and the mugger demands three copies in exchange for your life. It happens all the time.

On the other hand, you could just walk out of here without this book, thinking that you are great just the way you are ... and arrive home to find that your husband has left you because of your weird toes.

The good news is that any woman who reads this book, and puts its advice into action, will not only become the perfect woman--impeccably dressed, well-spoken, well-married, great at entertaining, and the sexual arts, and the mother of a brood of exemplary children--but will also acquire ninja powers and be able to control physical objects with her mind.  Does it promise a lot? Yes! But making empty promises in order to acquire a vast personal fortune is what this country is all about. Seriously, what is wrong with you? Again, to re-emphasize...everything.

Good luck."

Lol.

I would like to share a really great blog entry in Fatshionista on something that, to be honest, I have never really thought about before: The intersection of fat oppression and racism.  Also, a follow-up blog on why intersectionality matters.  As an equally important reminder, here is an article on the daily effects of white privilege.  My own white privilege is the reason why I have never thought about this issue and I thank, as well as whole-heartedly agree with both authors (Tara and Peggy).  As well, thanks to Sassy Says for her response to Tara's post, and the link on white privilege.

If there is one corporation I am happy to acknowledge for their efforts in positive advertising it is Dove. Considering advertising seems to leak into every orifice of our daily lives, and we are constantly sent messages that we are not good enough, that we need fixing in some way, Dove's advertising is a breath of fresh air.  Their campaign for real beauty is one I wouldn't mind being bombarded by.   In fact, I purposefully expose myself to their ads via the videos on their website.

Two upcoming campaigns from Dove are a Canada wide sleepover and a Play.

About the play, from their website:
"91% of women age 50 – 64 believe it’s time to change the way society thinks about aging. Body & Soul, a new stage production commissioned by Dove, aims to do just that.

Internationally-acclaimed playwright Judith Thompson worked with a cast of 12 real Canadian women, ages 45 to 78, to create this play. A provocative tapestry of their own life stories, their passions, their traumas, their dreams and their joys, it reveals the awe-inspiring beauty of each and every woman."

Running May 10-17th at the Young Centre for the performing arts.

Naturally, with this good news comes the bad.  Dove is owned by Unilever, a company with stakes in everything from ice cream (Ben and Jerry's) to laundry detergent.

From Responsible Shopper:
"Unilever is an international consumer products giant selling tea, ice cream, fabric softener, and much more. In attaining its current status, Unilever has engaged in a range of abuses nearly as broad as its production line. Child labor, unsustainable terms of trade, and corporate influence are among the most troubling offenses carried out by the company. Unilever is the world's largest tea supplier and has been targeted for profiting richly from the hardship of Indian tea farmers. The company fails to apply fair trade principles to the tea trade, forcing farmers deeper into poverty as tea prices continue to drop. Additionally, Unilever has been known to employ bribery to gain privileged market access in developing countries. Unilever's community work, from lake conservation in the Philippines to medical assistance for children in Vietnam, are commendable and have earned it praise among social responsibility advocates. However, for the size and scope of its economic interests Unilever is making little positive impact compared to the negative effects of its trade practices."

Dove has a quiz in their Girls Zone, called My Body: Fact and Fiction.  One of the questions asks: Reading fashion magazines can make me feel bad about myself.  Answer: Fact.  "Many studies have shown that the more young women read fashion magazines, the worse they feel about themselves.  Maybe because the main purpose of the magazine is for advertisers to get their message out...but most of the time the message is that you could be thinner, have clearer skin, less hairy, smell better, have whiter teeth, and larger breasts.  Companies want you to spend your money perfecting yourself with THEIR products.  Something to think about, what happens if you can't afford all of those products? What happens if you like yourself with curly hair but the ads make you want to change it to straight?  What happens if you bought the products and still look the same? That's when self esteem takes a plunge...when girls think they are the only ones who can't achieve the perfection promised in a magazine."  All of these messages, brought to you by Dove, a company that wants you to spend your money on their beauty products.

Another question in the quiz is "Girls should not go on weight loss diets" and the correct answer is "Fact".  Apparently they realize its not okay for girls to diet to ensure their bodies grow healthy, but as soon as they become women, Slim-Fast (also owned by Unilever) is right there to help them get rid of those excess pounds.  It seems Unilever is pro-age but not anti-diet.

So how does one negotiate between praising a company for its efforts in beginning to change the face of advertising with expensive ad campaigns aimed at sending positive messages about bodies and beauty, and chastising them for their lack of responsible corporate actions?

A public service announcement brought to you by your body. Loves it!

Happy Easter long weekend to all!!